Taking a leaf out of Mother Teresa's book

It seemed like everything was destined.

As chance would have it, after viewing an art exhibition at HK Arts Centre tucked away in a quiet corner of Wan Chai, I came to the same porridge shop Boon brought me to in May when I first came here. After that, remembering that I wanted to buy 方文山’s book on his lyrics, I went to 三联书店just 3 shops down the street.

That’s where I saw it - “Mother Teresa: Come be my Light – The Private Writings of the Saint of Calcutta”.

I recall having read a news article on the book. The focus then was how Mother Teresa’s faith shook in the face of suffering. Curious, I flipped to a chapter which had Mother Teresa’s letters to a bishop. As I read on, a profound sensation overcame me.

It was like I was the one writing the letters.

Mother Teresa wrote how she couldn’t establish a direct relationship with Him. In the face of suffering she saw with her eyes and heart, she felt lonely. She almost despaired. Love was turning into pain for her – the pain of losing, and the pain of longing.

I flipped to the next chapter in haste. Some random scanning, and my eyes landed on these two eyes Mother Teresa used in her letters: Inner “martyrdom”. She was coming to terms with it, as a way of alleviating the exasperation within her.

How often have you really given yourself to someoe else, even when you know the relationship wouldn’t have any outcome? When you did, don’t you have the tendency to look in retrospect and then question yourself why you have made yourself go through all the pain in the first place? Then, in spite of all that, how many people can really hang on and convince themselves, then try to seek solace in a stable and peaceful state of mind?

Like Mother Teresa mentioned that her suffering was just a little bit of what He went through, I have had experiences so similar to the beloved Saint though what I have gone through must have been million of a fraction of hers. Nonetheless, I am elated because it shows that I have lived – in the truest sense of existence – and gave love which probably can be classified as “universal”, though not yet “unconditional”.

Immanuel Kant, in his “Critique of Pure Reason”, gave “I” and “God” as concepts that unite the discrete and unassociated domains of our entire existence. At the end of the day, when we cannot find God, it is probably because we cannot find ourselves. Humans need to live in relation with others and himself. More often than not, the modern persona tends to forget that. As for those who never neglect this crucial point, we sometimes forget one thing: Even saints were humans, and humans need to be loved even if they were the givers of love.

So, let’s remember to give love, even to those who seem to be the ones always giving that to us.